It’s Time To Pass A Drug Test!

High blogees!

You just applied for a job and you are called back for the interview. Congratulations! Until you are told to come in for a drug test… now what?

Look, many of us have been there. So I hope that the following pointers will help you out but please understand THESE ARE NOT GUARANTEED TO WORK. I have found success and some methods and failure and others.

On average, the residual agent in cannabis that can be detected in a drug test can stay in the body anywhere from 45 days to six months after ending consumption. Determining factors include height, weight, amount of cannabis consumption and diet.

The following are MY effective methods of passing the test. MINE. Your factors may vary and need to be considered if you are going to attempt passing a drug test.

YOU NEED AT LEAST 24 HOURS TO FLUSH YOUR SYSTEM FOR A DRUG TEST. Sorry, drowning yourself in flushes and pills the day of wont work.

STOP CONSUMING CANNABIS THE MINUTE YOU FIND OUT ABOUT A DRUG TEST. Let’s get serious.

CRANBERRY JUICE NEVER WORKED. Even the 100%, $7/bottle kind.

NEITHER DID NIACIN, GOLDENSEAL, OR VINEGAR. You’re doing more damage than good because these items are meant for dosed consumption for GRADUAL cleansing. Most people take too much in an effort to cleanse fast. Drink lemon water and urinate. Often.

WORK OUT.  Move that booty! The more you sweat the faster your systems cleanses the agent that drug tests detects.

NO FATS, SWEETS, LIQUOR, OR CARBS. I know, starting to sound like a diet right? Well it helps the cleansing process.  But that’s a big duh, right?

DON’T BE A SQUARE. No cigarettes. If you are a smoker I know I’m killing you right now but trust me. I used to smoke Black and Milds and I noticed how much faster I would be able to cleanse my system when I put down the tobacco.

IF YOUR TEST IS WITHIN 24 HOURS: I would suggest a detox system. Do some homework. Check reviews of products on Google or Amazon. Ask around. Visit GNC or health food stores and don’t be shy. Like I said there is no guarantee but the effort is worth it if you are able to pass the test. Some products include pills that’s keep you clean for a few hours after digesting. I tried a system that had pills and juice. Didn’t work and I spent a cool $50. But I have heard positive reviews also

EAT GREEN. Spinach, lettuce, cabbage, whatever. You can chomp a lot of it without getting full and it’s key to getting you cleansed. Some people recommend okra (yuck) and/or asparagus (now we’re talking) but just make sure to get it in.

IF THE TEST IS A MOUTH SWAB: Follow the above instructions. Brush 3x a day and use a good mouthwash. Coffee is actually recommended, just gotta keep it like me: strong and BLACK. No cream or sugar y’all!

IF THE TEST IS A HAIR SAMPLE: Pardon my language, but ooooh shit this won’t be easy. Marijuana stays in hair follicles for many months up to a few years. You may have to purchase a special shampoo (called detox shampoos) and they are expensive, very damaging and sometimes do not work. DIY methods include everything from washing with clothing detergent to actual bleach. I’ve never had to give a follicle sample so I don’t have any advice from a personal perspective.

THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY MAY BE THE MOST RISKY WAY: A friend in need is a friend who has consumed weed. As awkward as it may be, being able to get a few ounces of urine from a friend or relative that does not consume cannabis is one of the easiest ways to ensure you will pass a drug test, if it is urine.  And uh, you may want to drug test the friend or their urine, just in case lol. Purchase a couple of hand warmers for about 4 bucks from drug store or hardware center, and it will keep the urine at the proper temperature 4 at least 5 to 6 hours. Get a vial that you can uh…conceal…and make sure to keep the hand warmer in contact as long up until it’s time to drop as possible. If you’re required to urinate in front of someone, my advice ended at the previous sentence.

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Alrighty then! I have parted with all the information I can. There’s only one way of passing a drug test 100%…not using cannabis at all. Just about all major retailers carry an at home marijuana detection test, but even those may be testing for agents different than the ones tested in the actual test you’ll be taking. So, don’t be nervous, but don’t get too relaxed either. The job may require having random drug tests throughout your job, so you may need to consider stopping usage altogether. *sniff*

I want you to get this job, but I also want you to be safe. If you do not have control over your cannabis usage, be careful about the jobs you accept. Make sure you are physically and mentally able to perform. because if you think THIS drug test is nerve wrecking, imagine the one you will have to take on the spot if you get into an accident while on the job! Oh yea, I’ve been there before.

Leave your experiences! Are you preparing to take a test? Passed/failed one before? Good luck!!

OH, check this article on other items that can negatively affect your drug test, especially it it’s testing for more than weed. Toodles!

 

A drug test is the only test you fail because you’ve studied too much.”–Unknown.

One Reply to “It’s Time To Pass A Drug Test!”

  1. I remember when I worked at a cardboard partition factory, a friend randomly came up to me and asked mischievously if I had to go to the bathroom. Without catching the hint, I cluelessly said no and went back to work. An hour later, there was a surprise drug test where a few people were ‘randomly’ chosen and he was one.
    That was his last day at the factory. RIP

    Like

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